WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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