We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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