No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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