is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You don't make any sense
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