i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
