She's JV to your varsity
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
