my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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