Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
