Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
