Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
