Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
