Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
