The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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