Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
