But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
