So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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