ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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