Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
