Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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