i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
