I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
