Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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