That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
