Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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