I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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