super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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