My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Randomize
