So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
