turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
