you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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