You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
