Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
