You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
