the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
