Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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