After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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