Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
