Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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