i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
