careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
