I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I think my moral compass just broke
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
