And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
