How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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