i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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