He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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