You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
