i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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