I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
her facebook's as public as her vagina
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
