i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Someone signed my nipple.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
