brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just invented taco cereal.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
