I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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