Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
