does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
