chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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